"I'm not trying to be rude but, Why Don't You Shave?" and other variations. AKA Rant

So, 'not to be rude' but are you projecting your self hate onto  me embracing my beard? I gotta be honest, and say that your question IS rude. Why don't I shave if I hate it-where did I say I hate my beard? Who says I don't shave it, or haven't struggled for what feels like centuries trying to get rid of something that is a part of me? Who says that I NEED to get rid of it in order to feel confident and sexy?

I will fill you in.

I shaved for 15+ years. I was told by the female in my life who should have loved and cared for me the most that
I was less than because of something I had no control over but told me my only option was to shave. I was forced to shave my entire body at 11 because thats 'just what women do" and "you need to be clean, this is dirty".

 I shaved, I lasered, I waxed, I sugared, I plucked, I bled, I cried, I Hid, I felt ashamed, I held my husbands hand as I cried myself to sleep after he caressed my face and flinched. I worried too much, I hated myself too often, I feared others judgement when I felt stubble on my face.
I shaved three times a day and proceeded to pluck for hours on end. I locked myself in the bathroom and wouldn't leave my house. I allowed my self hate and fear to control and ruin moments that otherwise would have been amazing and memorable. I've allowed it to control my relationship with my husband. And when he begged me to stop, I didn't listen. I finally listened after years and years of self hate and self perceived expectations.

I cry and I write this, because I remember it. I will always hold fear, self doubt and those past experiences in my heart. But the difference is that these tears are for pain I allowed myself to endure for years instead of standing up for myself and saying NO. NO, I do not need to keep doing this. No, women do not need to torture themselves because of FEAR. YES YOU DO HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE.
Yes, you can shave your legs. No, you don't have to.
Yes, you can shave your face. No, you don't have to.
Yes, you can shave you armpits. No, you don't have to.

Yes, you can choose what is best for you.
You have a choice. When that choice isn't making you happy, it's no longer a choice. It's NEVER something that you HAVE to do.

I don't hate my beard. I used to hate the hair that grows on my face. I've worked INCREDIBLE hard for a year and six months to grow this, learn to embrace my body.

Sure, I've been abused from people in this group, from strangers on the internet, from a television crew that I invited to my house who thought of me as a walking beard rather than a human being.
But this is by far the rarest thing.

I have been empowered, supported by friends and family, strangers on the internet and met bearded women who walk this path with me. The positivity and support has been AMAZING and by the bucketful. I can count on one hand the negativity I've endured in person, and would never be able to count how many time men and women come up to me and tell me I am amazing or beautiful or awesome because of this choice.

I love myself, I'm glad for this experience.

Shave your face because you want to. Don't shave it for anyone else. Don't shave becuase of fear of self acceptance or for fear of others judgement, because in all God's honest truth, those people are fucking assholes and their opinion (regardless if they are strangers or friends or family) their opinion of your body NEVER MATTERED.